If we’re all very lucky, pay our iCloud bill on time, and say very nice things about the M1 chip, Mr. Tim Apple himself might sneak down our chimneys next week and drop a surprise load by our fireplace. Oh lord, I’m on my knees, wishing and praying.
And, if I do that hard enough, I hope when I open my eyes at 5:30am PST on December 8, there’ll be a marvellous little package waiting for me. A Christmas miracle, if you will.
That, friends, is what I’d call a longwinded and uninformative way of saying there might be some new Apple hardware announced next week. This was revealed by the lovely folks over at MacRumors, who obtained an internal Apple memo advising AppleCare technicians to prepare for new products.
Of course, this might turn out to be nothing, but there are a few clues that suggest new Apple hardware may be tumbling into our living rooms next week.
First off, memos like this have been leaked in the past, and, generally, they precede an actual announcement. On top of this, a few weeks ago reliable leaker @L0vetodream claimed there would be some new Apple hardware dropping. Things are slotting into place.
One thing we can say for certain is whatever happens on Tuesday December 8, there won’t be an actual event.
Not only has there been no announcement to journalists, but that 5:30am West Coast time isn’t exactly ideal up for folks living in San Francisco. No, if anything is going to happen, it’ll be announced via a press release.
So what could this new Apple hardware be?
And here we come to the most interesting question. It seems likely that it’s going to be hardware, rather than software, as the leaked memo was sent to providers of AppleCare+.
Now, there are a few things Apple (reportedly) has in the pipeline, including a new Apple TV, AirTags, and its over-ear AirPods. There’s potential for any these to be launched, but I would think the most likely would be a new Apple TV.
I’d find it odd if Apple released a totally new product, such as the AirTags or the over-ear AirPods, without a presentation. These are big new products that are suitable for almost every iPhone owner, and I think the company would want to try and shape their marketing message beyond a simple press release.
The new Apple TV on the other hand is a well-known product due for an upgrade. Apple doesn’t need to provide a use case or convince people of its merit, and it’s clear what its purpose is to consumers at large.
On top of this, @L0vetodream — the leaker who predicted this potential new Apple hardware — claimed the product would be “good for winter.” And I’m not sure what’s better for these cold seasons that curling up in front of the TV.
Of course, this is just a guess. Apple could announce a completely new product category, it just feels unlikely. It could also release something left-field. For example, a new pair of AirPods that sit between the standard version and the Pro models, you know, like an AirPods Pro SE.
There’s also the change the new hardware will be boring, like new cases for laptops or charging cables. But I’d veer away from this, as those items are unlikely to need AppleCare+ coverage.
As enjoyable as all this is, we won’t get a solid answer about the new Apple hardware until Tuesday. And if it’s underwhelming? Well, Mr. Tim Apple can fuck off back up my chimney thank you very much.